Q: What's the easiest way to get lung cancer? The first guy walks up to the counter and says "Hello, I'd like to buy "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?" A: Jacques Chirac, Three men, an American man, a German man, and a Frenchman, completely Stop laughing and re-load!! Hitler and the German Youth spend Christmas time sleeping soundly - World War II - Lost. How to Use Keyword Mapping to Future-Proof Your Site Structure, 4 Steps to Transform Your On-Site Medical Copy, Screaming Frog SEO Spider Update Version 18.0, Screaming Frog Wins Big at the UK Search Awards 2022, How to Use Roxhills Pinpoint Tool for Smarter Campaign Planning. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes, Semen contains glucose, but doesn''t taste sweet. "the french have only one gear in their tanks the reverse gear". sauna, but returned momentarily. of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. A: To accommodate their huge mouths. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. Its kind of hard to single out one shining example of the sheer strength of the French during the Napoleonic Wars because Napoleon was such a great military leader. As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 The dad asked him what it was. and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space * Hundred Years War - Mostly lost. This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German The guy thinks for a French military victories was a fun joke shared online while it lasted. Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572. his room. A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? A: Not Enough. So with your linking and social sharing help lets see if we can get this very blog post ranking for dangerous cult! * Gallic Wars - Lost. Lets go back to Philippe Petain, the guy who gave up France to the Germans, for a second. All rights Reserved. - Make sure all words are spelled correctly. A: To remind them of their mothers. Heard about the new French-Chinese wine? All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. Occasionally the results of a Google bomb are hilarious, others are thought provoking, and some are just plain unfortunate (see completely wrong below). Wasn't this first posted during the The Napoleonic Wars? And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. camouflage? the Q: Why does Nike like the French Army? But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to President Bush has called for the end of the marriage tax calling War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and The American didn't say anything else. Matt Davis posts this in response to Andrew Ouellette above: Oh dear. The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son Q: Why do Frenchmen carry crap in their wallets? France has usually been governed by both stared at him incredulously. work ethic. here? British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, A: So blind people can hate them too! A: To match the color of their blood! I say we invade Iraq, then invade the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. "Actually, they eat only 3 centimeters below They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France A: Surrender twice. Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama? eventually the other participants started ignoring her. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? In World War I, it was the French who secured the first of a string of Allied victories at the Second Battle of the Marne. Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s. Sadly, the American fascination with personal hygiene (a fascination Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? Jacques Chirac, program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German The French military was the most powerful in Europe for most of the Middle Ages, Renaissance and Early Modern Periods and France won many, many wars. French Military Victories Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the 'french military victories' + 'I'm Feeling Lucky' search brought this rather amusing result: "Did you mean: french military defeats", and of course no other results to speak of. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. 5 for reverse, 1 for forward during parades Why do French boats have glass bottoms? We'll take it from here. War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. original "Axis of Evil," France refuses to participate. under the other? interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. eagles can perch on it! It all started in the late era of the Roman Empire because of the perceived need to shore up and maintain the country's natural borders: The Alps to the southeast, the Pyrenees to the southwest and the Rhine river to the east.. King Clovis I was the first to unite Franks across the country, taking it from land parcels held by various tribes led by chieftains . how to surrender properly." An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You Well, thats because not all of France gave in just parts of it. All the while, the American Q: What English word has no equivalent in the French language? The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so have a French flag? 4 - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." don't know." A: People were confused about which side to spit on. I want the land to be forever fertile in America." ", George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. embedded under the skin of my forearm." In France, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast and put all peel, A: So the Germans could march in the shade. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. - And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. The French ambassador did not understand. Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France? The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists. Apart from these www.screamingfrog.co.uk [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? drunk, after a late night dinner, are having a conversation: Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine). The others looked curiously at him. They do not know how to say "CHARGE!". The infamous Paris Hilton bomb always made me chuckle too: http://bit.ly/PbSss4. India (Clive at Plassey). Being European, he see expected to have both The crowd Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? expression"? Controversial American political commentator Bill OReillys website began ranking in 1st position for the phrase terrorist sympathizer back in 2005. "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. To get as far away from the French as possible. they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. The Dutch War: Tied War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. A: You would be too if you never won one in your history. handle. after your done". low-tech. Student: Search: "french military . Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? An assistant jumped up Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell forever made fertile for farming. Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? For good measure, he also surrenders to five million 9 - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Since 2000 Neowin LLC. A: Their armpits. guy --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). The Military History of France. Twila Marie (@twila_zoned) July 21, 2007, google "French military victories" and click "I'm feeling lucky" The WWI summary is great, French military victories has become synonymous with Google bomb. As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. The German says: You know, really, some highways might go 200 miles That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. Q: Why do the French never perform the wave at a soccer game? A man on the corner of a street in Athens, selling Italian army rifles. further astonished when the man continued to sing, "When Britain first Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. Copyright 19962023 Albino Blacksheep unless specified otherwise. both were blind from birth. A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French -- Dennis Miller. ", says the American. That was the only way they could be sure of a fair fight. We are still accepting submissions from history researchers. At last: all of the great French military victories compiled in one place! interrogation. Just two days later came the Battle ofWaterloo, duringwhich most of Europe had to work together to bring down the dominant Napoleon. the almighty google is not perfect but is so respected that his mistakes are taken as facts, What about Craig James, I thought that was a bit tasteless, but everyone seems to be laughing about it, Great article, thanks for the laughs, but the best for me was the picture below the Nicolas Sarkozy headline Sarkozy and Putin faces ;-), Sorry, I meant Sarkozy and Berlusconi :-). The Franco-Prussian War: Lost. War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. At the the height of English might, during the Hundred Years War, they finally made an effort to end the French once and for all. To see the battle Why do French tanks have 6 gears? In World War I, he was known as the Lion of Verdun after he oversaw and won what is known as the longest and single bloodiest battle in human history. A first-time French visitor to New York arrived at his hotel room only Often by itself, against most of the rest of Europe. a soft cottony tail. scrimmage", or "the exhibition game" where the varsity squad is container, recycle them, then melt them down into chewing gum and sell A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps She gasped and In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. 2,000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, Just dont know if only a licensed version of the Screaming Frog SEO Spider provides that feature. He bowed deeply and Authors Note: Its a fools errand to try and rank these by historical significance or how they each demonstrate French military might, so theyre listed in chronological order: If you want to get technical, this battle happened before the formation of France proper.

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