Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. One day he finds a magic lamp on the beach. Are you chocolate milk? Among lifes mysteries is how a two-pound box of chocolate can make a person gain five pounds. How dairy.Seven days without chocolate makes one weak.What kind of bar is kid friendly? We got some for you. Did you hear about the chocolate bar burglar?! Theres nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate. Health Chocolate mousse! Then he separated the light from the dark, and it was better. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. I am a serious chocoholic. Were like hot chocolate and marshmallows. I do recommend a piece of good-quality dark chocolate as a healthy snack . Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. I dont understand why so many so called chocolate lovers complain about the calories in chocolate, when all true chocoholics know that it is a vegetable. I bought a Mars bar, a Milky Way and a galaxy, and they were astronomical.I got myself a hazelnut and chocolate sports car. The optimist sees the glass as half full. You and me are the perfect batch. Ouch you are giving me a good kind of toothache just because of your sweetness. Santa's little helpers sure do have a sense of humor. I identify as a chocolate bar. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling . Lora Brody, Growing Up on the Chocolate Diet, A true chocolate lover finds ways to accommodate his passion and make it work with his lifestyle. Drink it cold. Keep calm and eat cookies. One key, not just to keeping weight down and staying guilt-free, but also to keeping taste buds sharp (essential for the professionals who evaluate new products as well as judge recipes), is being discriminating. I love a man with chocolate on his breath. Snickers he only snickers! Plump lady to the waitress: Id like Death by Chocolate for dessert, but only enough to put me in critical condition. Chocolate chimp! 2. If you were ice cream and i was chocolate sauce, I'd pour my love all over you! And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok". Food Puns. - Size doesn't matter - though more is still better. A cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a whole day without food. You make my heart melt faster than hot chocolate. Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. My favorite thing in the world is a box of fine European chocolates which is, for sure, better than sex. Whether dark, milk or white, chocolate is satisfying and decadent. Can you think of anything sweeter than a joke about chocolate? Are you a box of chocolate? In 1724, Dr. Richard Brookes claimed that chocolate prolonged life and cured ringworm and ulcers. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. Counselor Deanna Troi, Star Trek: The Next Generation. I would go to Italy and eat ice cream if I won the gelato-ry! What is the meaning of life? Whats Snoop Doggs favourite chocolate bar? Vegetable Jokes. In a hotel sweet.What do you call a lamb dipped in chocolate? But considering the pandemic that our world is currently facing, the most important thing is that laughter increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving our resistance to disease. Why was the candy bar confused? ( Ice Cream Jokes) What one thing became more clear as you got older?. Feel better now? Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed, but chocolate makes it worthwhile. A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. My day got sprinkled with love! A Double Decker. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Game for some sexy chocolate jokes? Whats the opposite of choco-late? What are the 4 major food groups? Its like chocolate chip cookies, you cant get enough of them. Empty calories: A hollow chocolate bunny? We know we love them! Then he wished for a convertible, and poof! if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. Nursing Home. What do you call an extra sweet cookie? Turn off the lights.I just saw an aircraft made of bubbly chocolate. There was a convertible. The young man noticed that the older man always had a jar of peanuts on his desk. But you have no chocolate! Baby Ruth! For their dessert, most French cats like the chocolate mousse. Plane chocolate.What kind of chocolate bar can you eat in a library? "I've never laughed a woman in to bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times.". Can you fit any more Milky Way Chocolate Bars into your desk drawer there, Jim? A: Because it lost its filling Because I would definitely want to taste your sweet. I heard you have a stash of kisses in your dorm can i possibly get one from you? Chocolate jokes for kidsare another way to make them smile. What do cannibals eat for dessert? Once you consume chocolate, chocolate will consume you. My wife hates it when I swap her chocolate bar wrappers around. Then you could kill as much as you desire. These cute and funny Valentine's Day sayings are sweeter than chocolate and guaranteed to make your loved ones (both kids and adults) LOL all day long. Please sign up with your best email address. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. I can make you so happy with all the stash I have at home. In addition to making us feel happy, it has a lot of other benefits as well. Because I want to take your top off and gobble you up. What use are cartridges in battle? One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. 55 Hilarious Movie Jokes That Will Make You Binge, 97 Funny Animal Jokes From Zoo Animals, Dogs and of course, Cats. Here, have a carrot! Why not get started now? While some of the jokes on this list are pretty straightforward (see the Cat's boner-hat at the end), this one really is for the older crowd. Chocolate Tessellation inspired me to mix cacao and cocoa alphabetically, but that made me sneeze: aaaccccooo!. 84. They believe its the tomb of Pharoah Rocher.What kind of chocolate do you find in the fluff catching drawer of the dryer? 1. Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. Love is a substitute for chocolate. . Dairy milk chocolate! now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. We allow other website publishers to quote small snippets of text. Miranda Ingram, All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt! 4. You never know what youre gonna get. Betty Crocker. Feel free to come to my inbox and share your thoughts! A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. Hes a chocolate lab. What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Talking is frowned at in the local chocolate factory, so I only wispa when I get there. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's.". A chocolate shake. "Chocolate, please," replied the youngster. I hate Bounty Hunters. Furthermore, most of these funny chocolate jokes are clean and safe for everyone. John Belushi, If any man has drunk a little too deeply from the cup of physical pleasure; if he has spent too much time at his desk that should have been spent asleep; if his fine spirits have become temporarily dulled; if he finds the air too damp, the minutes too slow, and the atmosphere too heavy to withstand; if he is obsessed by a fixed idea which bars him from any freedom of thought: if he is any of these poor creatures, we say, let him be given a good pint of amber-flavored chocolate and marvels will be performed. Donut rain on my parade. A marsbar! And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. Chocolate-covered aunts.What kind of chocolate can you buy at the airport? We're also sorry the chocolate is half-eaten. Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Smorse Code. The lisp magician gives everyone a chocolate bar. On a cold and gray Chicago mornin where was another little baby chocolate bar born? Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. One thats choco-lit! Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" Cadburies have announced theyre going into administration. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? Dont they actually counteract each other? Cocoa-Nuts. Theres definitely a change it does to the chemistry of the body. Wanna take the joke a little far? A new hybrid. If only the sweets tastes like you then I would definitely start to love them. Im not overweight, just chocolate enriched. "I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist. You can call me metronidazole because I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air. !. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? Chocolate Jokes. What kind of candy is never on time? At home it is always sweet o clock. What do parrots say when they see a candy bar? A Candy Baa. Michael Levine, nutrition researcher. I think it was too dark for me to see the second one.I just ate too much chocolate, nuts and marshmallows. I live for it. ", and the jamaican said " mek wi go back to the store,me ago show yuh a who a the real tief". A: To get chocolate milk. You can be my chocolate bunny. As long as its chocolate. 15+ Easy and Funny Animal Riddles for Kids (with answers) 2023, 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments, 31 Ginger Red-Head Jokes and Quotes to compete with Blondes & Brunettes, Funny Mum jokes DADS cannot compete against. "Don't worry, son. Because you are the sweetest. The doctor walks in and says, "I have some bad news. You can taek-won-do.Why is the Toblerone chocolate shaped like a triangle?So that itll fit inside the box.In case you were wondering, chocolate identifies as female.Preferred pronouns are Her/she.I ordered a chocolate clock from Amazon a few months ago and it hasnt arrived yet.Boy, its taking its sweet time getting here.People always ask me how I sneak chocolate into the cinema.WellIve got a few Twix up my sleeve.I once saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg.I said to him, I bet I could guess your favourite holiday!He replied, Have to love Easter, baby.Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates.Theyll kill your dog.I love chocolate.Hard candy is for suckers.I put my friends chocolate bars in different wrappers. Your email address will not be published. Exercise is a dirty word Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. Donut Jokes. Babe, you know what's better than that Tootsie roll? Because I want to swallow every last drop of you. Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? Required fields are marked *. A handful of the funniest chocolate jokes will make your holiday celebration dramatic and merriment-filled. Just so you know I have a ref full of chocolate, a couch and good films at my house. If at first you dont succeed, have a little chocolate. How did the hipster burn his mouth on hot chocolate?He drank it before it was cool.What do you get if you dip a cat in chocolate?A Kit Kat bar.What did the astronaut say when he stepped on a chocolate bar?I just stepped foot on Mars.What kind of biscuit can fly a space ship?A chocolate chip Wookie.Whats the suns favourite chocolate bar?A Milky Way.Whats the opposite of chocolate?Choco-EARLY.What do you call stolen cocoa?Hot chocolate.Whats an astronauts favourite chocolate?A Mars bar.What fruit loves chocolate?A coco-nut.Why did the M&M go to University?Because he wanted to be a Smartie.What happens before it rains chocolate?It sprinkles.What do you call a cow with a stutter?Cacao. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". Put it in the microwave. The feeling of being loved can be a powerful one. So, Easter commemorates when Jesus hid eggs for the disciples to find, and then he turned all the rabbits into chocolate, right? Here we have funny cookie jokes that include some funny chocolate chip cookies' jokes, sugar cookie jokes, a joke about a cookie sheet, and a Christmas cookie joke that'll make your heart full of laughter. What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy? Why did the candy bar cross the road? ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. We've got all kinds of funniest dirty minded jokes covering from the nasty dark humor to toilet humor as well. It comes from the cocoa bean, beans are veggies, nuff said. The worlds best Sundae! Kuhtuhluh Report. Therefore, it counteracts depression, in turn reducing the stress of depression. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Candy who? Baby you light up my mood like the way chocolate can. You make me feel a lot giddier like I have eaten a box of chocolate. Chocolate left in a car? My final hope for a smokin' hot body! Half dark and half light chocolate. It gets her Snickers in a Twix. The divine drink, which builds up resistance and fights fatigue. And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! Hershey makes millions of kisses a day, all I want is just one from you. What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk? @. Since I lost my teeth all I can do is lick the chocolate off the M&Ms.. Whats the best part of Valentines Day? What do three men and fluffy nougat covered in chocolate have in common? I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. Today, it's sunny with a chance of sprinkles! Q: How do you confuse a complete moron? Egg Jokes. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra. A Candy Baa. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? You and I were mint to be! Which is the clumsiest candy bar? No, the boy replied. Bob Greene, Chocolate makes everyone smile-even bankers. John Milton, The Devils Advocate. What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? 6. You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!" Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey?" - You can GET chocolate. Spanish proverb, And above all Think Chocolate! It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! A guy will actually search for a golf ball. Hell hath no fury like a woman who has sworn off fudge and chocolate. Who doesnt love chocolate? Chocolate isnt a food, its a medicine an anti-depressant. Because I would like to purchase a sweet like you. The jamaican mon said "check the guyanese pockets and yuh find all three a dem". The segments were spun-out into their own series on June 13, 2003 (although the 2003-2004 episodes were also produced originally for Grim & Evil), and continued to air until November 9, 2007. It is certain that we have more collections for you if you have enjoyed this collection of jokes about chocolate. Your email address will not be published. Chocolate is one of lifes simple pleasures. What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? I go loco whenever I eat chocolate and you. Whats nice and petite, with chocolate in the middle? Chocolate covered aunts. What do you call female chocolate? Because he wanted to be a Smartie. I always carry chocolate instead. (LogOut/ If you are interested in more jokes and puns, take a look at Cookie Puns and Baking Puns. - You can have chocolate in in public. Whenever I look at you I see something more desirable than chocolate. Milk Jokes. the cashier said " sure" "hand me a chocolate bar" he ate it. A mootation. I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. Dark chocolate chimp. It is the best friend of those engaged in literary pursuits. Of course, the same arguments can as persuasively be made in favor of dirt. They had a baby, Ruth. Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. Love & Sex What do you call a womanising chocolate? You've probably laughed when you saw someone slip over a banana peel before but that's not the only time this fruit can be funny. "People think I hate sex. Do not Disturb! Why is a Toblerone triangular? I was going to get you a box of chocolates, but you already have a sweeter box. In deaths agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. But it could just be a Chinese whisper. Hershey. A chocolate bar. All Rights Reserved. Edit them in the Widget section of the. Little Truths Am i enough for you? So we've rounded up 30+ of the best chocolate jokes, puns, useless facts, and one-liners you . I am all for chocolate and falling in love with you. Are you chocolate pudding, because I want to spoon you all night long. 3. For their summer holiday, the chocolate couple rented a two-bedroom sweet. Eve left the Garden of Eden for chocolate! ao! When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! Never eat more chocolate than you can lift. Why a carrot as a logo? Chocolate chimp! Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. Deborah Fox-Rothschild. Decad-ant So, grab your chocolate chip cookies and get ready for some laughs. Simply put everyone has a price, mine is chocolate! Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. What did the M&M go to college? October 5, 2021 Who doesnt love Hershey chocolate jokes? A: Because theyd enslave the black M&Ms, steal all the red M&Ms land, hunt the blue M&Ms to extinction, accuse the yellow M&Ms of obstructing trade, start a panic that the little green M&Ms were invading the Earth, and complain that the brown M&Ms were taking all their jobs. I can't help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars snickers. A: Ask him to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This is a text widget, which allows you to add text or HTML to your sidebar. Sandra Boynton, Other things are just food. The young man loved peanuts. Shock-o-lat. Friend 1: Maybe you should go to hell! Anything tastes better dipped in chocolate. What did you guys do? Robert Paul. His aged and withered hand painstakingly made its way toward a cookie when it was suddenly smacked by a spatula. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. Girl my taste buds almost always craves for chocolate but now it craves for you. A: Chocolate covered aunts. Better late than never, right? Somehow Im just not cut out to be a Bounty hunter.I dont like putting a lid on my hot chocolate. Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. Do you love chocolate or hot cocoa? Chocolate are always better when shared with you. What do you call a womanising chocolate? Cremation. Because he was choco-LATE for the bus! Babe you are definitely not M&M, because you are melting by my fingers. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends. Your site is very interesting. Babe, you know what's better than that Tootsie roll? - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe Make sure to tell these to true . So, eat lots of chocolate! You gave my life thrill just like sweets do to my taste buds. So I just snickered. What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? If Bob has 30 chocolate bars and eats 25, what does he have? Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. Hot chocolate. "Keeps him from falling out of bed. Chocoearly. A chocolate bar.How do you turn the dairy chocolate turn into dark chocolate? "yeah we know him he's the greatest isn't he? An old man and a young man work together in an office. - Gary Delaney. Not only that, aside from being delicious and beneficial, it can also be hilarious. Because he wanted to be a Smarty. Ah! Its flake news. Knock knock! I dont think theres anything hotter than a chocolate but hey! There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for chocolate. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. What does a box of chocolate and life have in common? 2. ", A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shoppe and carefully, slowly climbed up onto a counter stool. Baby I am only tempted by two things: you and chocolate. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. Chocolate bar prices have really gone up. Chocolate doesnt make the world go round, but it sure does make the trip worthwhile! Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. Knock Knock! A Bounty-ful! 9) Looking for Mr. Goodbar: A kid goes to a candy store and can't find his favorite chocolate bar.Chaos ensues. Put eat chocolate at the top of your list of things to do today. 5. Hershey. Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. 7. I like my girls like I like my Hershey Kisses Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Knock knock! What do you call a black guy with Parkinsons? Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday, and now theres only one. What kind of candy is never on time? Arnold Ismach, The Darker Side of Chocolate. Check it out. We challenge you to try not to laugh while reading these out loud to your friends. Could be a Chinese Wispa. Candy you make me a cup of hot chocolate? Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people. Because you're making me drool. A little boy was taken to the dentist. I'm just happy to see you. More Funny Jokes. What are you talking about? French cleric, 1620, Just think of all the wonderful blessings youve been given. Available on Etsy. Hello A mum to her son: Yesterday there were two chocolate cakes in the pantry and now theres only one. Q: Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? From clever Valentine's Day puns to corny dad jokes to adorable knock-knock jokes, these hilarious ideas will get all the giggles. Nibbling is not enough, know that I want to devour you fast. There are other ways to make them happy, like our chocolate jokes. Pizza, Coffee, Chocolate and Sex. Whos there? Baby I can never get enough of your sweetness like I can never get enough of chocolate. Seduced by the chocolate side of the Force. Everyone will be happy when they see them, as they will raise their moods. The man asks, "Why are you doing that? The jamaican mon said "check the guyanese pockets and yuh find all three a dem" Terry Moore. 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell. The lovable Charlie, who is one of a group of children to win a tour of the mysterious Chocolate Factory of the eccentric candymaker, Willy Wonka . Are you chocolate spread? One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother." One liner tags: Christmas, dirty, kids, sport. What did the M&M go to college? Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. So black kids could get dirty faces too. Mr. Good, who? Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. God is watching." Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826). Tootsie Trolls. Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. Im never a selfish person but when it comes to sharing you with other peopleI dont think so. I am always ready for something sweet like you. The man says, "And the Viagra?" Chocolate is not a matter of life and death its more important than that! We have a fun collection of friendly and delicious jokes, riddles, and puns about chocolate that are clean and safe to use. You are the surprise I wanted to get more than I want chocolate. How do you know it's cold outside? You're the milk to my cookie. Taureano Ent says: August 13, 2019 at 2:00 pm Hernando Corts, 1519, If you are not feeling well, if you have not slept, chocolate will revive you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don't come running to . Nope, all outer space.. T-Shirts & Bumper Stickers Chocolate isnt like premarital sex. Chocolate is a Vegetable: chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. The Archbishop of Cadbury. One kid stepped up and slid down, he wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river. Mother to son: "I'm warning you. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. Homer Simpson, Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm chocolate. Homer Simpson, Self-discipline implies some unpleasant things to me, including staying away from chocolate and keeping my hands out of womens pants. I don't. I just don . Babe I am so happy to see you, and this is definitely not a chocolate bar in my pants. Knock knock! The man wished for a million dollars, and poof! Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "ab818a5f89fd344f6f5c1b7530f931de" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Your email address will not be published. How about I make you happy this time? ChocoLATE. A PayDay. I cant stand eating Turkey two days in a row. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? . A moo-tation.Whats an electricians least favourite ice cream flavour? The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". Why did the donut visit the dentist? What do you get when you enrobe a sheep in chocolate? Thanks. What is the opposite of Chocolate? President Lincoln was approached by a woman after a political speech. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Dont you think you have got to check if you have diabetes? When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?" Required fields are marked *. There you are in front of me. "You mean J.C? C? Are you Willy Wonka? Katharine Hepburn. 131 Star Wars Jokes That Definitely Have The Force. Chocolate is the greatest gift it was really great choice for gifting. Have you seen all jokes? Ben Strohecker, chocolatier. Change). Such things are not going to affect ones lifebut 1932 the Mars Bar and 1936 Maltesers and 1937 the Kit Kat these dates are milestones in history and should be seared into the memory of every child in the country. Required fields are marked *. How about we get some Titty Roll in the sheets. But if you cant eat all your chocolate, whats wrong with you? "nobody cya tief like me!

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