But it can be funny. "Yeah, you're three years late. 17. Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. Is my relationship status a joke to you?! Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. Could Be Payday. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. 50. Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. How are you? But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. "See, I will finally make you smile.". Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. 57. No one loves superheroes. Is your family tree a cactus? 2. 7. Funny as phuck. Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." 51. 32. Living an amazing dream. I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. You don't need to say it. If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. a fate worse than death." See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. Better inside than outside. "Still alive" is polite. Totally fine! Yup, I dont share it. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. Now you can be! Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. Thats because my crush is a fictional character. Not everybody may appreciate them. Not Bad. Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? Through humorous musings about Scalia's . I just woke up like that one day. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. I'm overqualified! Going strong. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. I havent met the right one yet. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. Living the dream! It's impossible for things to be perfect. Stop joking! You might just find one. There is plenty of room. Usually, people live and learn. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. How Am I Still Alive. 2. 10. Feeling confident? After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. Congrats, guys! On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Are you flirting with me right now? Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! 1. 3. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" Hello, how are you? More like give me a sign that. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. 67. Get your own life first before you try sharing it. It can be good to just say it how it is. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. Pick your struggle. 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now. There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. 97. Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." 87. "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. Chuck Bass? (Use a sexy tone). Youll never be even half the man your mother is. Why would you talk to someone at their convenience when they wouldnt speak to you when you needed them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. How impressive! 1. 2. "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. 8. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. Sort of. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. 16. Here are 28 of the best ghosting responses to send someone whos been ignoring you. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. 15. I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. You just have bad luck at thinking. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. Thank you, it made my day. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. Have you been thinking? I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. 13. Spiritually? You a cop? 22. Your hair looks great! Hanging on. Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. He will be missed. I suggest you do a little soul searching. 5. He sold it to me on his deathbed. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. 5. . It is a basic courtesy that when one of your leads converts to a paying customer, you demonstrate your gratitude and make their transfer as smooth as possible. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. He was a good OP, of impeccable character. (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) Not bad. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. 3. It's best part of the whole movie. How do you think that I am doing? How do you usually respond to the question? "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Hey, whered you get that nose? While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. 2. 28. StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. Sorry, life. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! Hope this status quo persists for the rest of the day.". funny response to are you still alive. Ah, sarcasm. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. You have an old soul. still alive 810 GIFs. Your secrets are always safe with me. . 40. I dont know. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. WHY!? Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". A little bit worse now that youve asked. No? 99. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. 100. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! I will leave that up to your imagination. This one kills me! Are those space pants? Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? Mentally? 70. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. Happy, and I know it. Everyone has a different sense of humor. 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. You dont need to say it. 69. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Shane from The L Word? Reply. 38. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. Do you really care? Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. Now that is pretty f****** funny. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. 2. I was actually talking to my friend". For your information, Im in a relationship with food. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. funny response to are you still alive. 27. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. Ive had worse. 96. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. Do you have a minute? Try these OOO messages to let people know you're taking a break. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. Better than most, but maybe not as well as others. Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. Could have been worse, right. I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. 17. IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. Reply. 13. 26. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. Dear family and friends of Arthur Dayn, As we enter into an unprecedented dark age with the invisible enemy known as COVID-19, the life of our dear friend Arthur Dayn ends. Was that comment meant to offend me? If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. Because if you are, youre doing it right. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. Youre not as bad as everyone says. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. Thats because Im still waiting for you. No, I'm Finnish. Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. Youre not going to use the same response to your dad as you would your best friend, right? Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. 92. I am feeling so good that I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping. Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." Lord Byron (poet) All rights reserved. On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. Some people spend all their time on their phone. We cant always get what we want now, can we? I agree, thanks for sharing. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! How do you want me to be? Sounds like effort to me. My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" Most of the time, that is not true. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? You speak as if youre not single yourself! How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. What could go wrong? Tip #3 - Confidence is Key. 65. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. Im single by choice. At minding my own business? Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". I never even listen when you tell me them. No, keep talking. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. You want to make them laugh, not yell. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . 39. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. Did someone leave your cage open? Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. Because Im awkward and ugly. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. via: Pexels / George Pak. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship.

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