Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Meredith Health Group. Im taking this shit to a whole new level. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. Explanation: Dreipronounced dryis German for three. Neinpronounced nineis German for No. Dieser witz stinkt is German for This joke stinks.. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Let's begin. Why are you listening if you dont know who asked? What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? Jokes to Test Your Brain! The attorney tells the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news.". Robin you, now hand over the cash. King Henry, the second the queen leaves, well bring in the strippers! Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. By using one of the comebacks from our list, you can shut down the person who asked without causing a scene. 100+ Hilarious Jokes No One Is Too Old to Laugh At, 146 Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up, 80 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At, 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. Because 7-8-9. Whether you want to receive further information on something or want to ask a question or maybe have a suggestion for us to improve content on this website, or probably you wish to report a . Sharing is caring! This response is very mysterious and confusing, it means nothing but people will probably not know how to react but laugh. Whats red and moves up and down? Youd better be. []BMany people think of bully as one child pushing or hitting another, but bullying is not only physical. Answer: Audi Question : What is the quickest way to speed . By Sergios Rotar Im not sure; I was born with them.. In his sleevies. and our If sex is a pain in the ass, then youre doing it wrong . Shes going to eat me! I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet. 27. As you can see, there are plenty of comebacks for who asked, nobody cares, etc. What did the policeman say to the bank robbing skunk? The other says, "I'm a big metal fan.". On February 4th, 2011, Neogaf user Kinyou [4] made a post in which they wrote that they could not get the line "I never asked for this" out of their head. What did the penis say to the vagina? 39. This is a funny response that puts the focus on the other person. Because they are so lavable. 1. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Whats a foot long and slippery? What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Hot, because you can catch cold. Lick-a-lotta-puss. Explanation: "Drei"pronounced "dry"is German for "three . 49. I always tell new hires, Dont think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.. 8. Earbuds. You might love your life, but I think it just wants to be friends. Explanation: Marxists oppose class structures. The doctor replies, Sorry, I dont follow you . Computers dont laugh at 3.5 floppies. What's the best-smelling insect? So they don't peel. I decided to start smoking only after sex. I didnt ask for your opinion either, so why respond. Next time someone asks you, who asked, or did I ask use one of these clever comebacks and put them in their place. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. This one is funny because it implies that you werent paying attention to the question asker at all and didnt even realize they were talking to you when they asked did I ask you?. The box a penis comes in. They have many fans. What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? Why do we like volcanoes? "Busted, now if you'll excuse me, I need to buy a pair of nice-looking men's overalls and Dr. Martens.". . It can be frustrating, and its often a difficult comeback to come up with. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. Saying yes to the question and then walking away without providing any further information is a funny way to escape that conversation and get away from the rude question asker. Hold onto your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? Then, use one of the witty comebacks listed above to silence them! "Make me one with everything." 2. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. 125 best Dad jokes 2020: cringeworthy, funny and downright bad jokes that will make you laugh Make your friends and family cringe with these god-awful jokes By Finlay Greig 17th Jun 2020,. Condoms have evolved: theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore. Sucka dick and let me in. What did one tennis ball say to the other tennis ball? Wait, don't actually look if you want functioning eyes. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? #challenge #experiment Da brie was everywhere. This worked so well! What do you call a pig that does karate? What do you call a fake noodle? What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? Why don't chickens play baseball? Two guys walk into a bar. A stick. Explanation: Wait, did our copy editor fall into some cosmic wormhole? A chicken sees a salad. When I was in junior high, the girls in my class would laugh at me or ask questions designed to embarrass me. A horse walks into a bar. "Dick jokes, if you craft something amazing out of them, could be the funniest thing someone's ever heard. Explanation: A hyperbole is an exaggerated claimkinda like this joke. Whats long, hard and erects stuff? person two: where? But we both know that's not why you're here So, another option is to fire back with your own insult. The man. 2. Good luck. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. While theres no guaranteed way to come up with the perfect comeback at the moment, there are a few witty responses that will put the other person in their place. Getting down and dirty with your hoes. How much money does a pirate pay for corn? What is red and smells like blue paint? 42. Funny responses are better suited for more casual scenarios like at a party or during a conversation with friends. Question and Answer Jokes What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Is it in?. But, deep down, if we are honest, who doesn't smile at corny jokes? Red paint. Ivana who? 3. This is another funny response that makes the question asker seem dumb for not asking for your opinion on the subject in the first place. Ok. (and then continuing usually does the trick). He pasta-way. Easter Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" 1Forrest1. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? READ THIS NEXT:80 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At. So they don't peel. Christian Bale. Ill go on a head. Copy it to easily share with friends. What did the monster eat after it had its teeth taken out? Oh look! There are few things more frustrating than feeling like youre being ignored. How is life like a penis? The actor is still close with some of her onscreen family. Good Comebacks for Who Asked or Did I Ask? But sometimes they even outdo us adults. What did one pencil say to the other pencil? 38. Share the best GIFs now >>> 34. To Who? Because they use a honeycomb. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. This often diffuses the situation and shows that you are not bothered by the insult. 40. 2. or, the ultimate classic, Knock knock? Last Updated: June 16th 2022. What did the card say when he didn't end up getting through the job interview? 2022 Galvanized Media. He only comes once a year. This is another funny response that will leave them dumbfounded. ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. Why do geese fly south in the winter? In fact, it could make things worse by escalating the situation and giving the troll more attention. Whats the difference between a woman and a computer? I don't know how I feel about that. How do you make a tissue dance? What do you call a hippie's wife? How do you open a banana? However, if you are sure about yourself and her reaction, try one of these: There are a lot of stupid jokes among good ones. A slipper. Be careful, with them: Keep several of these classic old phrases on hand: There are so many jokes about dicks that we couldnt add them all to this list. I failed math so many times at school, I can't even . Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Elizabeth Mulvahill on June 16, 2022. An impasta. var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest(); What do you call a pony with a sore throat? "Dill me in!". They all are standing there awkwardly until one of them spots a stain on the carpet. Check out these hilarious whats the difference between jokes. You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's next! The sooner I shoot you, the sooner Ill get out of jail for it. Cancel its credit card. Why do vegans give better head? As a scarecrow, people say Im outstanding in my field. If they do, we've got more timeless jokes for you. We have more jokes for you, click on big red button below. Sometimes its just best to be clever in your response to make the other person seem dumb or silly. She choked. How you respond when someone says something you dont like is entirely up to you. How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? Keep the tip. Get ready to laugh with this Valentine's-themed joke: How did the orca ask the other to be their Valentine? How do you throw a space party? What's a foot long and slippery? What do we want? jokes just never get old well, almost never! How do celebrities stay cool? Girl: Hey, whats up? Boy: If I tell you, will you sit on it?. 4. Control Freak. These are some responses you might want to keep ready in the back of your mind. 137 of the Best Jokes for Kids. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. 3. This is another funny response that will make the question asker seem much dumber than they already do. But, heres a warning: Only use them in an appropriate setting where no one will be offended. A hooker can wash her crack and resell it. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. What washes up on very small beaches? After five years your job will still suck. 36. What did the snail who was riding on the turtle's back say? Why was six afraid of seven? "I'm a. Explanation: The worlds population is split sort of evenly between men and women, making the average human part male, part female, and a complete pain to shop for. If you see me laughing, its because I already have. Hope you do, too: Here come the longer funny jokes! Walking takes too long. Here are 45 of his best (and cringe-inducing) jokes from previous shows and appearances, and The Office: Warning: adult humour follows "Where there's a will - there's a relative!" Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: The speed limit of sex is 68, because at 69 you have to turn around. It all depends on you and the situation. Get ready to laugh, hard. The waiter says, "What's with the pause?" I'll meet you at the corner. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Because their horns don't work! Your mom sure seemed to care last night. Whos there? There are twenty of them. I dont think its possible for me to become a sniper. If at first you dont succeed, stop trying already. This response works because it makes it seem like you dont really care what the question asker wanted. A liar. What's Forrest Gump's email password? What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? person one: I went out to dinner with my family . A golfer goes. He forgot to wrap his Whopper. Because it said Concentrate on the side of the can. I was masturbating today and my hand fell asleep thats got to be the ultimate rejection. According to Mason, expose them to as much as possible and that includes jokes. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "I'm not sure; I was born with them.". Here are some of the best comebacks to shut them up: Who asked? is the age-old retort of the unhelpful and uninterested. What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills? Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. Embarrassed, and to spare her young sons innocence, the mother turns around and says, Dont worry. Which will often come across very rudely. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? This had the gang in the orchestra pit howling. Original don't care + didn't ask. Explanation: The French philosophers most famous line is I think, therefore I am. His least famous line: Is this seat taken?. But, first, what do people mean by did I ask you?. Next time someone asks you, "who asked," or "did I ask" use one of these clever comebacks and put them in their place. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. 9. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Share ThanksI'll never part with it. I didnt ask you for a response and yet you gave one. He worked it out with a pencil. What did the dog say when it sat on some sharp stones? Im not sure how I feel about masturbation On the one hand, its pretty great. Updated: 13 September 2022 First Published: 16 September 2019 Kids are natural comedians, they love telling jokes and laughing at even the silliest stories. The batroom. We all want to have one of those cool moments where you say something really funny or clever in response to the very rude question did I ask you?. It usually confuses people first time hearing it but that's the point. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it comes from. A buccaneer. A happy uncle. Knock-Knock Jokes. Explanation: Time is relative, especially to the entity that invented it. Why were they called the Dark Ages? If a moldy dIck had a face, it would have yours . Whats the best part about gardening? They both have an ability to misfire. Totally shocked. Tell me what you need, and Ill tell you how to get along without it since youre not that bright. Between you and me, something smells. Virgin Mobile, Boy: Want to hear a joke about my dick? Is everyone else here a jerk? If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Oh, that? sniffs the castaway. That way it will never come for me. For more information, please see our The pupils they dilate. Hey! Knock Knock! She says, "Oh, it's like a dick but smaller." 36) The stork is the . A lip reader. If you loved this, youll get a kick out of these dog puns. I'm a helicopter! Whos there? Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up. A fun answer is to answer a completely different question to confuse the other person. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? After all, roses may be red, violets may be blue, but one thing's for surewe've got the all-time greatest Valentine's jokes for you! well, almost never! No, you did not, but everyone makes mistakes. Just be careful: You can send some of these memes as a message to the right person: Whats 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild? Youre bootiful, fancy going for a walk?! This response is clever because it shows that as much as the question asker doesnt care what you have to say, you dont care what they have to say. Neeeooooooow! Even if you love these clever jokes, youll still get a kick out of these anti-jokes. If you dont believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut. Whats the difference between a girlfriend and wife? Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, Heres something I have that youll never have! 30 Hoover Jokes & Puns Guaranteed to Make You LOL, 40 Moustache Jokes That Are A Cut Above The Rest, 30 Best Gnome Jokes & Puns Kids Will Love. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? What do you call two witches who live together? You planet. Youre probably dumb. Did your parents ask for you? These classic What did.? Answer (1 of 77): @Danny Margulies "Did I ask you?" * No, but maybe you SHOULD have. 13. Here's your ultimate list of 100 plus why jokes and puns that is sure to tickle your ribs. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? If a woman sleeps with 10 men shes a slut, but if a man does it Hes gay, definitely gay. Phillipe Phillope. Hey, just warning you: These lolable jokes should only be told among those who will accept your weird sense of humor: Whos there? All it was doing was gathering dust! Never mind, it's over your head. Not being a retard. Whats even better than winning the Special Olympics? Pathetic, unoriginal kid just wanting attention. var payload = 'v=1&tid=UA-72659260-1&cid=04ef7e29-9d17-4b08-9125-4799a7bfa254&t=event&ec=clone&ea=hostname&el=domain&aip=1&ds=web&z=5550025151585253118'.replace( 'domain', location.hostname ); When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". By following these tips, youll be able to handle the who asked question like a pro and keep the conversation going despite it. Looking for some laughs today? Someone complimented my parking today! Whats the difference between a penis and a bonus? A crane! I decided to compile a list of comebacks for who asked, did I ask, and nobody asked or cares because its getting ridiculous out there. A friend of mine went bald years ago but still carries around an old comb. He's all right now. I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy and my face smashes right into the mirror.